new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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