he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
where are my eyebrows?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
