Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
