If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
