Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The air taste purple.
Randomize
