I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
