K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
