lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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