does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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