So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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