I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
