yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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