oh god the rape fog is back!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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