i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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