Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
