WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
