You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize