we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
