12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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