so that wasnt chicken after all
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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