Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
