After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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