i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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