What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
