:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
