i think i have herpe
just one?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize