i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
