K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
