Michael Bay diarrhea
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
