Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize