Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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