I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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