there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
