We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
