Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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