Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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