You made me cry and you don't even care
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
