Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize