I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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