Its about making memories worth repressing
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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