Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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