Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
