I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
