She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize