Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
