I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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