so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
