I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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