Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
