Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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