on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
