I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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