i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
