butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
