out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize