i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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