Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
