yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Randomize
