i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
