The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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