Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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