did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
