dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Boobs speak an international language.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
