Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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