who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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