I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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