Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
